Thursday, Jan. 7th, 2010

So I’m sitting in the Dallas airport trying to eat a sandwich and wondering what I’ve gotten myself into. In about an hour I’ll be meeting most of my fellow volunteers. I should be really excited to meet them, and a few weeks ago I was, but right now I just can’t imagine any of them being as wonderful as my friends and family at home. As usual when I leave home for an extended period of time, I am reminded of how important my family and friends are to me and how lucky I am. I just need to remember that those people will all still be there when I get back in a year. Right now, though, I feel like turning around and going home. Just got a text from my dad saying “You know why you do this! You’ll know why when you get there. Helping people and learning is what you do! Love Dad! Have fun!!” And now I’m sitting at a table in the airport crying and watching people trying not to look at me, lol. Oh god, I’m a mess. I know, too, that this is the worst part. All I can think about right now is all the people I left behind instead of all the people I’m going to be meeting in these next few weeks. In a year from now, I’m probably going to be sad to leave my tico family and friends that will become important to me. I just have to have faith that those relationships will happen, that there is a wonderful group of volunteers who will become great friends and a little town on the side of a mountain in the middle of Costa Rica that will hopefully become like a second family to me. And how lucky will I feel in a year that I have two groups of people that are important to me—one in Costa Rica and one at home? Some people don’t even have one of those....

I also keep going over all the stuff I packed and I know I have way too much. It really does help to not procrastinate when it comes to packing for a year…. probably something I will never learn. Okay, well, I’m off to meet my fellow volunteers, with a quick stop at the bathroom on my way so that I don’t look like the crying mess I do right now… more to come soon!